


Fangs is (not) dead

by choniandswangs



Series: Late Love [2]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angry Sweet Pea (Riverdale), Fake Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Love Confessions, M/M, Self-Destruction, Strong Language, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, but a happy moment too i swear, choni, he can't function without fangs, he's not a bad person but he's very hurt, maybe sadder than the last one, my poor bbs:(, swangs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-08 15:51:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18897814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choniandswangs/pseuds/choniandswangs
Summary: Sweet Pea's been through a lot in his relatively short life, and one thing he'd thought himself as an expert on was grief.





	Fangs is (not) dead

**Author's Note:**

> Set a few days after Failed to Deliver, after the Sheriff's department has told the Serpents that Fangs is dead.  
> Sweet Pea is not doing well.

Sweet Pea wasn’t happy when the knock on the door came. The last time someone had knocked on his door it had been to tell him Fangs was dead. 

It had been Toni, who had been clinging onto Cheryl like she’d collapse if she didn’t have a support beam. 

He’d known what was happening straight away, and stumbled back shaking his head as his mind started to spin, and she’d nodded and cried even harder. 

“He- he’s _dead_.” She’d sobbed, clutching Cheryl even tighter.

That had knocked the air from Sweet Pea’s lungs and he’d swayed on his feet, forcing Cheryl to lurch forward and grab him too. 

“Get.. get off,” He’d managed, swatting her hands away like they were hurting him, “don’t fucking touch me.”

Cheryl had swallowed harshly. She knew what losing a loved one felt like, she knew what grieving was like. She wasn’t going to explode at him like she usually would have, not when his world was probably crumbling beneath his feet. 

“Get out!” Sweet Pea’d snapped, and he’d meant it to come out angrily. 

He wanted to sound threatening, not let them know how he was really feeling, but as soon as the words were out of his mouth a sob followed that shook his entire body and forced him to collapse back against the wall, slowly falling down until he was crouched on the floor sobbing so hard he couldn’t breathe. 

He hadn’t even been able to think properly. All he could see in his head was Fangs’ pained, shocked, confused face as he’d bled out and his words from earlier in the night- _i don’t want to die_. 

Fangs never made wishes- he didn’t believe in them and he never requested anything from anyone, either. He was too selfless. So for him to beg them all like that, to make one wish, that meant something. And Sweet Pea’d failed him. 

Fangs was dead, and he’d let that happen. 

“Pea, please-“ Toni had tried, reaching out to try and grip his hand, “I need you.”

He pushed her hand away too, shaking his head, “Get out. Get out, leave me alone, don’t ever talk to me again I don’t want to see you get out!”

He was screaming by the end of it, eyes wide and body trembling and Cheryl had decided that was too far. 

“I know what you’re going through, so I’m not going to-“

“You don’t know shit!” Sweet Pea’d snarled back, “Your fuckbuddy of a brother wasn’t _Fangs_!”

Toni had cried harder after that, because that was exactly why she hadn’t wanted Cheryl to come with her for this. Sweet Pea didn’t get quiet or sulky when he got sad- he got mean. He pushed everyone away, but he always went overboard and got to the point where it just hurt. 

Cheryl swallowed harshly, trying desperately not to just slap him, “Don’t ever talk about my brother like that again, and don’t you ever try to threaten Toni.”

“Or what!? You’ll hang me like daddy!?”

“Toni wanted to be the one to come here and tell you because she needed to be with you! You were the only person that she knew would miss Fangs as much as she will but fuck you, Sweet Pea. This isn’t about you missing him, this is just you using any excuse to be an asshole.”

Sweet Pea hadn’t even looked back up at them as they’d walked away. He only looked up from his feet when he heard the door slam behind them, and finally let out a breath of relief. 

He needed to be alone, completely alone, for a long time. He wasn’t going to heal from this, he knew that already. 

Fangs was... everything. He was who Sweet Pea turned to with everything. He was the one person Sweet Pea’d cry in front of, and let comfort him. Fangs was his safety net, really. He was the one that was there letting Sweet Pea know that no matter what, he always had someone to turn to. He could go to Fangs with anything and he’d wrap his arms around him and shush him and promise to make things better but Sweet Pea knew deep down that nothing- not even that- would even help just slightly with the pain he was feeling. He knew what grief felt like. He’d lost his mother, his step-father, he’d lost countless family members and friends. None of them had felt like this. 

His mind was racing at a million miles an hour, screaming at him and calling him a murderer and the only thing Sweet Pea could think of to stop the voices was drinking. 

That always made his inside voices quiet and slow- that’s what he needed. 

He couldn’t even move from where he was on the floor, though, so he’d had to grab what was nearest to him and roll it towards himself with his foot. It was a half empty bottle of white rum, but he didn’t really care. He flicked off the bottle top and took a big swig, eyes screwing up at the burn of the cheap alcohol as it flowed down his throat.

It was good, though, to feel something physical. It distracted him, only for a moment but it was still such sweet relief. 

He took another drink, and another, and another, and ended up passing out there.

That was three days ago. He hadn’t moved much or really done anything since then, only getting up from his spot to go to the bathroom and grab more booze and some cigarettes.

He needed something harder, he knew that, but he couldn’t bring himself to go outside and get it. He’d even searched the medicine cabinet but all they had was hay fever tablets, heartburn medication and two paracetamols. 

Nobody’d come to check on him. He didn’t blame them for that, not at all, he knew he was an asshole and he was glad other people weren’t having to deal with him. But having the knowledge that nobody was there to care for him or to care about what happened to him was dangerous for someone like Sweet Pea. He was self destructive, and the only thing stopping him from completely going off the rails was the fact that he didn’t want to hurt the people he loved. 

That wasn’t an issue anymore, and it was actually a little scary how fast his mind turned against him.

That was the only reason he felt any relief at the knock on his door. He didn’t want company, didn’t want to talk, just needed to know that someone somewhere would miss him at least a little.

“Sweet Pea,” Toni spoke seriously as she barged in, not even waiting for him to answer her knock, “you need to come to the hospital. Fangs is alive.”

Sweet Pea felt his face harden at the words. Was this a joke? Was it funny to everyone else, that losing one person had shattered him like this? Was it supposed to be amusing to think of him again, as if he hadn’t been constantly?

“Pea, please, he needs you.” Toni pleaded, reaching out to try to help him up.

He shoved her hands away, “Don’t ever fucking come here again.”

Toni’s face fell, “Why aren’t you happy? He’s alive, you can see him, you-“

Sweet Pea looked up at her for the first time and her eyes filled with tears just by looking at him. This wasn’t Sweet Pea, not at all. His eyes were sunken in and almost closed, and he had stains around his mouth that were obviously from vomitting. 

Toni nodded and knelt down in front of him, bringing a hand out to rest at the back of his head, “I shouldn’t have left you here on your own. Let me clean you up.”

Sweet Pea shook his head weakly, but couldn’t bring himself to verbally refuse the help.

Toni went and got a flannel from the bathroom and wet it to bring back to him.

She sat in front of him this time, and he took that as an indication that she wasn’t planning on leaving for a while.

“You’ve been drinking?” She asked quietly as she started to dab at his face with the flannel.

Sweet Pea could hear it, though. The concern and the pain. They both knew so many people who’d fallen into alcoholism, including his own mother, so it was only natural for her to be concerned at the use of alcohol as a coping mechanism.

“I’m not going to yell at you, Pea. Just be honest with me.”

Sweet Pea swallowed harshly and nodded, and Toni gave him a small reassuring smile.

“What have you had?”

“I… can’t remember.” Sweet Pea admitted honestly, but gestured to the sofa where there was a pile of bottles that Toni hadn’t noticed. 

She froze when she saw them. That wasn’t him having a couple of drinks to get him through the day, that was him wanting to be blacked out at all times. She knew because she’d seen it before, in her uncle and FP and so many of the older serpents. She’d developed a knack for spotting those dependant on it when she was bartending, and she really didn’t think Sweet Pea was. He was just a desperate, lonely, broken boy with nobody to turn to.

Toni pulled the flannel away from his face and nodded to herself. At least he wasn’t covered in vomit any more.

“I’d really, really appreciate it if you came with me to the hospital.”

Sweet Pea made a pained face and pulled back from her, “I can’t, Toni. I can’t see him… dead.”

His voice wavered on the last word, like it always did whenever he tried to speak about it.

“He’s not, Pea,” Toni promised seriously, “we don’t know what happened but they lied to us. He’s alive.”

“Is this your way of trying to stop me being depressed or whatever? Nothing’s going to bring him back and I don’t know if I want to live without him.”

Toni’s face fell at the words and the only thing she could even think of doing was throwing her arms around him tightly whilst trying, and failing, to blink back the onslaught of tears.

“If Fangs was gone and so were you I’d be on my own. Don’t you ever do that to me.”

Sweet Pea felt a pang of guilt at that. They were definitely a package deal in a lot of cases- they never went anywhere without their two best friends. 

“You have Cheryl now.” Sweet Pea reminded her.

“Cheryl’s my girlfriend and I love her but she is not you or Fangs. I need you too, Sweet Pea. Don’t leave me.”

Her voice was begging, pleading, and Sweet Pea knew that she meant it. He hugged her back, even tighter than she’d first hugged him, and whispered “I love you”.

Toni sobbed into his shoulder, and she was just so full of relief. She really thought she’d lost Sweet Pea for a while. Between him drinking and not even letting her touch him she was worried that maybe a part of him had died- the good part. The part that made putting up with dumb, ridiculous, asshole Sweet Pea so worth it because he’d have moments where he was the kindest, most gentle person she’d ever met.

“I love you too. Please come with me.”

Sweet Pea let out a shaky sigh, and nodded quickly. 

Toni pulled back a little, “really?”

Sweet Pea nodded, “No matter what, I should… see him. I should say goodbye.”

Toni heard the pain in his voice and saw it on his face and knew he was only doing this for her. 

But that was okay. As long as he got to he hospital then she could show him Fangs and his world could start to be put back together again. She didn’t want Sweet Pea suffering for any longer than he had to. He’d taken a much bigger hit than anyone else, and she hadn’t really been expecting it. Sweet Pea was good with grief- he’d had so much of it that he had to be. So for him to completely break like this, it really told Toni how much he loved Fangs. She’d known it, of course, most people did. But she hadn’t known just how much Sweet Pea needed him.

“Okay. Cheryl’s waiting outside in the car, she-“

“Wait, no, Toni, no. She hates me now. I’m not going to-“

“She doesn’t hate you,” Toni assured him truthfully, “she knows what grief does to people. She burned her house down, Sweet Pea, you telling us to fuck off was pretty mild.”

Sweet Pea laughed at that, he hadn’t thought about it that way but he supposed it was true. 

Toni smiled up at him- a wide, genuine smile, and he raised an eyebrow in question.

“That’s the first time you’ve laughed since that night.”

Sweet Pea took a sharp intake of breath. That was… weird. He was pretty goofy, and loved making people laugh so to think about the fact that he hadn’t even smiled in nearly four days wasn’t nice. 

“Come on. We can’t sit here being soppy all day, let’s go.”

Sweet Pea still wasn’t happy about it, but he knew he had to say goodbye. And maybe it would bring closure, too. There was still a part of his brain that refused to believe that Fangs could’ve died and he needed to shut that part up because it was pure evil. Maybe seeing him - or his body would stop that nagging voice at the back of his head and help him start to move towards healing.

Toni gave him a reassuring smile and helped him up, holding his hand on the way to the car.

To outsiders it would probably seem pretty odd that Toni was the protector of the group, but it was the only thing that made sense. Sweet Pea and Fangs were fairly useless at these kind of things, whereas she'd grown up from a very very young age being wholly reliant on herself. She'd never had a good parental unit, so she'd become entirely independent by the time she'd entered double digits. She wouldn't have wished it on anyone- she didn't get a childhood- but she was almost glad in a way, because it meant that she could look after her brothers.

The car ride wasn’t pleasant at all, but not because of the reasons he though it would be. Sweet Pea’d assumed he’d have Cheryl yelling at him the whole way, but she was entirely silent except for a small ‘hi’ when he got in the car. He just couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that the last time he’d gone to the hospital Fangs had been on his lap bleeding out, and he’d had to hold the wound closed by pressing his hand against it. Fangs slowly going paler, his eyes rolling back periodically, his heart rate slowing down- those were things he’d never forget. He’d felt Fangs dying in his arms and he hadn’t been able to do anything but whisper what he hoped were comforting words and press gentle kisses to the back of his head. Fangs hadn’t reacted to any of it- he’d been too busy fucking dying, but he hadn’t stopped. He couldn’t stop picturing Fangs there, and it hurt so much that those were his last memories of the person he loved more than anything.

When he saw the hospital out of the window of the parked car, Sweet Pea instantly felt sick. He could feel the blood dripping from his hands and Fangs' weak pulse all over again.

Toni noticed the horror on his face and turned to him, "Pea? Hey, look at me. You're okay. Come on."

Sweet Pea nodded, and followed Toni's lead by getting out of the car. Toni leaned back in and gave Cheryl a quick kiss.

"Call me when you need me to come back, okay?" Cheryl asked, and Toni nodded.

"Thank you," Sweet Pea blurted before Toni slammed the door, "Uh, thanks. For bringing us."

Cheryl nodded, gave a small smile, and drove off as soon as the car door closed.

Toni reached out a hand and Sweet Pea clutched it gratefully, and Toni began leading him into the reception area. 

As soon as they started walking, Sweet Pea could feel the stares and glares on him, and he wasn’t surprised in the slightest. He hadn’t showered since that night, and he could feel it. His concept of time and basic daily tasks had been totally ruined, and he knew he looked like a mess- his hair was greasy, his face was covered in stubble, and he still had speckles of blood and vomit all over himself. 

But just because he understood the looks, doesn’t mean they didn’t bother him. He felt more self-conscious than ever before and shrunk into his jacket, head down as tears filled his eyes. He’d never been that sensitive to what rooms full of strangers thought of him before. 

“Okay, Pea? I need you to take a deep breath, okay?” Toni asked him seriously when they got to a door at the end of the hallway. 

It was weird- it looked much more like an ICU than a morgue. 

He did as he was asked and took a big, deep, shaky breath but the moment the door opened it all got knocked straight back out of him because behind that door was Fangs.

Alive, breathing, awake Fangs.

Sweet Pea felt tears come to his eyes and he was frozen to the spot, unable to even rub his eyes because his best friend- his _dead_ best friend was laid five feet in front of him.

“Hey, big guy, you look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” Fangs joked, wide grin on his face, and Sweet Pea couldn’t do anything but sob as he stumbled towards him, throwing his arms around his shoulders.

Fangs let out a small laugh and hugged him back, “Missed you too.”

He saw Toni smiling over Sweet Pea’s shoulder and mouthed a ‘thank you’. She nodded and gestured to the hallway, letting Fangs know she was going to leave them alone for a while.

Toni and Cheryl were the first ones to come and see him, because Cheryl had reminded her that nobody’d seen a body and that the hospital hadn’t given them any updates, only the Sheriff. When Toni’d called the hospital, she found out that Fangs was very much alive and in fact was desperately waiting for visitors so they'd dropped everything and got there as quick as they could. 

This was Sweet Pea's time.

Nobody had been quite has shattered as him, so he definitely deserved some time alone with Fangs so that he could figure everything out and come to terms with it all.

By the time Fangs pulled back from the hug, Toni was gone. Sweet Pea didn't even seem to have noticed.

 "Fangs-" Sweet Pea choked out, "Oh my god."

Fangs smiled up at Sweet Pea as he held Fangs' head in his hands, touching his face and his neck and his shoulders because he didn't understand how Fangs could be alive in front of him.

"I'm here, Sweets. I'm here." Fangs promised sincerely, grabbing one of Sweet Pea's hands in his own.

"I thought you were  _dead_ ," Sweet Pea whispered, still not quite being able to grasp what was going on, "I thought I'd never see you again."

Fangs frowned as he spoke, noticing the strong, unmistakable smell coming from him, "Have you been drinking?"

"You were  _dead,_ I-"

"No, listen to me. If something happens to me you've still got to be okay. You don't just lose hope, okay? You've got to promise me that."

Sweet Pea'd never felt as vulnerable in his life as when he whimpered out a quiet, pathetic, "But I love you."

Fangs' face softened completely and he felt tears sting the back of his eyes. He hadn't meant it in that kind of way at all- he just really, really didn't want Sweet Pea to ever be hurt because of something he did.

"I love you too, but you still have to be okay without me."

"I don't know if I can."

Fangs could see what he meant. Between the smell of alcohol and the splatters of blood over him, Sweet Pea didn't seem to be in a good state. 

"Have you hurt yourself?" Fangs asked softly, dragging his thumb across some of the bloody areas on Sweet Pea's face. 

Sweet Pea shook his head, and Fangs frowned for a moment before his face fell and he realised that it was his blood. 

"How come you haven't showered?"

"I haven't done anything," Sweet Pea admitted quietly, head down, "nothing but cry and drink."

Fangs felt a deeper frown appear on his face and he brought his hand up to cup Sweet Pea's face. He didn't look right. Everything about him was just... off. His skin was slightly too pale, his eyes were too red and hooded, his lips were too dry. He just didn't look like Sweet Pea anymore.

"What have you been doing for food?" Fangs asked, because he knew damn well there'd been nothing but half a bag of stale Doritos in the whole trailer.

Sweet Pea sighed, sitting back and running a hand through his hair. He didn't want Fangs to worry about him or his eating habits for God's sake! Fangs was still hooked up to an IV and a bunch of machines that Sweet Pea thought looked important- he should've been the one at the centre of the worry. He didn't have a chance to make up a lie, though, because before he could open his mouth Fangs was already speaking.

"Okay, I'm texting Toni to bring you food. I need to borrow your phone, though, mine's gone."

Sweet Pea shook his head and reached for Fangs' phone with a small smile, glad to be able to help him get at least a little bit closer to normal again.

Then he froze, because as soon as his fingertips touched Fangs' phone he remembered the texts he'd sent to him.

"Sweets?" Fangs asked, confused.

His face had paled and his eyes looked  _scared_ , and Fangs hadn't noticed anything happen so that was really strange.

"Sweet Pea, look at me, what's wrong?" Fangs asked again, cupping Sweet Pea's face so he could make him look his way.

Sweet Pea didn't know how to get out of this. He knew from experience that once a text had been sent, it was gone. It couldn't be taken back. So his words were there, they were going to be seen, and he just needed to make sure that they were taken in the right way.

"I sent you some messages, back on the first night. Before you read them, I just need you to know that I was in a really bad place."

Fangs frowned. That didn't sound like Sweet Pea. He never gave a shit what he said, he thought people being annoyed by his words was funny. It was one of the best parts of being his friend; getting to see so many people annoyed at him all the time.

"Just... if you don't like what they say, just please ignore it. Don't tell me, okay?"

Fangs nodded, because Sweet Pea seemed like he was on the verge of tears and that's not what he wanted at all.

Sweet Pea let out a shaky sigh and handed over Fangs' phone, which still somehow had eighteen percent battery, and then stood and walked to the other side of the room to look out the window. 

He didn't want to be sat there watching Fangs' facial expressions, trying to read them. He just hoped Fangs would be nice about it and let him down gently. He wasn't the best at controlling his emotions and didn't want to start bawling like a baby because someone didn't like him back.

Fangs opened the messages with shaky hands, expecting Sweet Pea's words to be angry or bitter or mean in some way. What he actually saw just made his heart feel warm and his belly tingle a little. He was upset, too. The thought of Sweet Pea being absolutely broken and writing these messages was heartbreaking, but it meant they could be together. It meant something good could come from this whole situation.

"Sweets?" Fangs asked softly, "Please come back."

Sweet Pea took a deep, shaky breath and nodded, walking back over to sit on the edge of Fangs' bed. He didn't look up from his feet.

"You really feel like this?"

Sweet Pea nodded.

"Why are you so scared?"

"Because you're probably over me but I don't want to hear you say that."

That was the dumbest thing Fangs had ever heard Sweet Pea say, and he said a lot of dumb things.

"Look at me, please."

 Sweet Pea finally did so, and when he looked up he just looked so defeated and upset and Fangs couldn't believe that he honestly didn't know how much he was loved.

 Fangs had assumed that his feelings were blatantly obvious. He hadn't hidden them, and when Sweet Pea'd told him that there were no feelings involved on the night they'd nearly slept together he was pretty openly upset about it. Everyone else always joked about how clearly in love he was with Sweet Pea- why wouldn't he be able to see it?

"Why do you think I don't like you any more?"

Sweet Pea frowned and looked back down at his lap, "I don't think you ever did."

"You idiot."

Sweet Pea looked up at him with wide, offended eyes and Fangs couldn't help but snicker at the face, and he was almost glad to have that bit of comic relief. This was such a weird situation and it had become so serious so fast and he didn't do well in situations like that, especially with Sweet Pea. They were dumb, immature teenage boys, they giggled at everything. It was just a part of them.

"I have a huge, dumb crush on you, you know?"

The way he said it was so lighthearted, and he had this tiny smile, and Sweet Pea was so sure that he was kidding. Nobody he liked ever liked him back, and this was  _Fangs._ Fangs who had an insanely long line of people clambering over each other to get in his pants, and Sweet Pea completely understood why. He was beautiful, and funny, and so cute. It was entirely understandable that half of Riverdale was in the 'I want Fangs Fogarty' club- after all, he'd been there for years.

Sweet Pea couldn't do anything but nod sadly and blink back tears that were so close to spilling over. He was overjoyed that Fangs was alive, of course he was, but this still hurt like Hell. Seeing Fangs again had made him realise that this was a lot more than  _liking_ him, or having a crush or any other stupid way he'd put it before. He was in love with his best friend, who (probably) didn't feel anything close to the same way.

"Are you okay?" Fangs asked, his voice back down to that deeper more serious tone.

Sweet Pea nodded but chose to look away from Fangs and back towards the window because those tears were there now, "Fine."

"I mean really. Are you doing okay? Are you looking after yourself? Are you-"

"I haven't done anything but drink for four days but sure, I'm looking after myself." 

His tone was snappy and irritated and Fangs was taken aback by it completely. Between the way he looked and now the way he spoke to him, this Sweet Pea was different and Fangs wanted the old one back.

While Fangs was still trying to process what the Hell the last answer had meant, Sweet Pea muttered "stupid fucking question" under his breath barely loud enough for Fangs to hear.

"Have I done something to you?" He asked, starting to become visibly and audibly upset by Sweet Pea's attitude, "I'm sorry if I-"

"I should go."

Fangs froze for a moment, the words were like a slap to the face. 

Sweet Pea had thought he was dead, and yet he didn't even want to spend ten minutes together? After they'd both just admitted their feelings? What sense did that make, unless he wasn't really important to him?

As soon as Sweet Pea got up to leave, though, Fangs' basic instincts kicked in and he lurched forward to grab at Sweet Pea's arm, "Please, no-'

Sweet Pea took his arm back but turned to look at Fangs with a confused raised eyebrow and then his face fell when he saw Fangs' face covered in tears.

"Please don't leave me on my own again," Fangs begged, " _please._ "

Sweet Pea could've sworn he felt his heart break at that. Fangs looked so desperate and hopeless and he felt so bad. He hand't even thought about the mental toll this would've taken on him.

He nodded and sat besides Fangs, and Fangs let out a sob as he curled into his side. Sweet Pea let out a shaky sigh and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close and rubbing circles into his back.

"It's okay... I'm not leaving you. Never again." Sweet Pea promised sincerely, voice hoarse as he tried not to cry too.

Fangs' sobs got louder, and that was when everything just flooded his mind. All of his feelings and emotions just consumed him and he couldn't even try to speak or explain what he was feeling. Those couple of days of laying in the hospital, completely alert and aware, and having the doctors and nurses tell him nobody wanted to see him... that hurt. He'd started to believe that all of the feelings he'd had towards the people he loved were one sided, and his mind had gone to a dark place really fast. He'd started to think that maybe him dying was what was supposed to happen, and that everyone he loved was hoping for it. He thought they'd wanted him dead and that was why they'd dumped him at the hospital and hadn't even rang to check on him. 

It had been the first thing he'd asked when he woke up- "where's Sweet Pea?"

Nobody had known who he meant, so he'd had to describe him to them and one nurse said he'd seen him dropping Fangs off but confirmed that he hadn't been back since then. Fangs asked whether anyone had come to check on him, or even called to ask about him, every time he saw someone and they always gave sympathetic smiles and a 'not yet, sweetheart'.  He'd always just smile and nod at the words, but as soon as he was left alone he'd cry a lot. He didn't have what most kids his age would have- a big, sturdy family. But he had always believed that his family was the people he surrounded himself with, and to hear that none of them had even taken a minute out of their day to call the hospital and ask if he was okay really did a big damage to his mental health.

"I'm so sorry, Fangs," Sweet Pea whispered, tears flowing freely now, "I'm never leaving you again."

He kissed the top of Fangs' forehead and stayed rubbing what he hoped was soothing circles into his upper back. It was the only thing he could think to do, he just felt so selfish. He'd come there and had Fangs comfort him and try to look out for him and had started a conversation about feelings and relationships and it was all stupid and shouldn't have been brought up. Fangs had been shot and then, as far as he was concerned, been abandoned by everyone he cared about. That wasn't going to go away in a few minutes, and Sweet Pea should've never expected it to. 

"I didn't know you were alive," Sweet Pea tried to explain, "we were all told that-"

"I know," Fangs cut him off, sniffling, "I know what happened. But it didn't feel like that, not when all the nurses were calling me lucky and telling me I had a close call and... there was nobody. It didn't feel like anyone was there for me."

Sweet Pea shook his head in disbelief and brought his hand up to the back of Fangs' head, making him look up at him.

"I would never leave you like that - not voluntarily. I would die for you, I would die to stay with you. You understand me?"

Fangs let out a stuttered, shaky breath and nodded seriously. They didn't kiss, or even hug, but that was a _moment_. It was a brief, small, tiny moment of time where they could both clearly see that they weren't 'just friends'. The emotions behind their eyes, the closeness, the shaky breaths- everything. It was love, that was undeniable from both sides. And in that tiny, brief moment they both realised that this (whatever 'this' was) was changing. Their relationship couldn't continue to be  _friends who fool around sometimes_ , not when they were both this in love. 

This needed to become real, and become serious, because every second they didn't have that was precious time wasted that they could've been using as time to explore and celebrate their love.

Sweet Pea was the one who reached down and gripped Fangs' hand in his own and squeezed.

"I think I'm  _in_ love with you." He breathed out, almost in disbelief at his own words.

Fangs couldn't keep the wide smile off his face, and laughed lightly as he ran his hand through Sweet Pea's hair.

"I could say the same."

Sweet Pea nodded, and brought the hand he was holding up to his lips and kissed it softly, "Will you?"

Fangs stared back at him, almost not understanding the question, but he got it.

When Sweet Pea said it to him, it was like someone wrapped his heart in a fuzzy blanket and he almost felt high. It was only fair for Sweet Pea to get that too.

"I'm in love with you."

Fangs couldn't have missed his sharp intake of breath if he'd wanted to. 

Sweet Pea felt like he was on clouds, just floating in happiness and  _love_ which was so weird but he was very sure he'd get used to it. He was in love with his best friend (who was also not dead, somehow), and he was loved back. Life couldn't get better than this, could it? This was magical, and beautiful, and it wasn't at all what he'd expected when Toni burst into his trailer that morning but that was definitely a good thing.

At that thought, Sweet Pea turned to the door with a frown. When had Toni left?

"She dropped you off then went to get food," Fangs informed him with a smile, already knowing what he was looking for, "hasn't been here for a while."

Sweet Pea felt his face flush and he looked down, embarrassed, before mumbling "You're distracting."

"Yeah? What about me could possibly be distracting?" Fangs teased with a raised eyebrow.

Sweet Pea's face got even redder and he groaned, "I gave you an 'I'm in love with you' and this is how you re-pay me. I take it back."

Fangs laughed, really laughed, and had the widest grin he'd ever felt on his face.

"You're you again." He observed, nothing but happiness on his face or in his voice.

"I've missed you mocking me." Sweet Pea admitted.

As ridiculous as it sounded, it was true. Having someone make fun of him all the time was exactly what Sweet Pea liked. He hated having to be serious. He'd missed Fangs mocking and teasing and making fun of him for stupid little things.

"Don't worry, big guy. Just because we're  _in love_ now doesn't mean I'm gonna stop taking the piss out of you."

"I wouldn't want that for a second." Sweet Pea answered honestly, and he meant it. 

"That's got to be a little embarrassing, though, right?"

Sweet Pea gave him a confused look. 

"The fact that I just nearly died and I could still kick your ass."

Sweet Pea scoffed and shoved his face away, "You're such a dick."

Fangs went to answer with another joke, and then paused with a frown, "So... this whole sexuality stuff. Do I get to make gay jokes at your expense?"

Sweet Pea groaned, holding his head in his hands, "I wish I could un-love you."

Fangs laughed again and leaned up to kiss Sweet Pea's cheek.

"You wanna know what my dying wish was?"

Sweet Pea's face hardened and he became completely serious once again.

"I wanted to get that night again, and do it over. I wanted to stop you sooner, so I would've never asked that stupid question and we could've gone on like we were. I just wanted one more chance with you."

Sweet Pea felt the air leave his lungs at the words. That was awful- for Fangs to be laying there dying and his only wish to be that they weren't stupid kids who didn't know what to do with their feelings.

"And I'm getting it. Not a do-over, but something better. I can't tell you how much that means... Also I really, really want to kiss you right now."

Sweet Pea blinked in surprise, not anticipating the ending of the sentence.

"Why don't you?"

"Stale cigarettes, day old tequila and throw up aren't the nicest smells you've ever had." Fangs answered honestly, and Sweet Pea grimaced.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry, I can't smell it. Is it that bad?"

Fangs debated sparing his feelings and lying but if he tried to kiss him he knew he'd throw up. His breath smelt so, so bad and he couldn't go near that so he just nodded.

"Okay, I owe you one kiss. That's fine by me."

Fangs laughed, shaking his head again, "I think it's more than one now."

"It's, like, three thousand," Sweet Pea confirmed with a nod, "We'll have to kiss a lot."

Fangs tried not to smile at the stupid words but he couldn't stop it, so he just groaned and leaned into Sweet Pea's chest, "You're so dumb."

"Yeah but you're in love with me so who's really the dumb one?"

Fangs sighed jokingly, "Never letting that one go, huh?"

Sweet Pea shook his head proudly, "You're in  _love_ with me. That's so dumb."

Fangs couldn't really disagree, because it was. The entire thing was a joke he'd seen a thousand time amongst his friends: don't fall in love with your straight best friend. He didn't just ignore that rule, he ripped it up and burnt it and scattered the ashes. It was stupid and reckless and he could've ended up getting really, really hurt by Sweet Pea but as he looked up into Sweet Pea's eyes and saw the love and the serenity and the happiness there he knew one thing for sure: Sweet Pea wasn't ever going to hurt him.

They were both stupid teenagers at the end of the day, they were bound to get hurt, but it wasn't going to be on purpose. Not when it was someone they both loved and adored and had known for their whole lives and they knew each other's quirks and stupid jokes and dumb habits and they loved them all. Maybe that just made them both as dumb as each other, but they really didn't care. Whatever this was- they were both happy. As far as they were concerned, that was all that mattered for the time being.

 


End file.
